Q: My daughter swore me to secrecy before telling me her girlfriend is still smoking pot even though her parents think otherwise. Her parents knew she used to smoke pot. My daughter thinks she can handle it better now. Should I tell the girl's parents and break my promise to my daughter?
A: I advise parents to err on the side of safety and well-being. Assuming the girlfriend's parents are reasonable and nonabusive, I would certainly go ahead and tell them.
Worrying about her parents getting angry or upset is not the same as being abusive and you may have to help your daughter understand this difference.
Further, even though you promised your daughter otherwise, her friend is at risk and needs help. You cannot be held to secrecy on a bad promise when someone's well-being is at risk.
In case your daughter thinks smoking pot is innocuous, consider this: cannabis alters perceptions of reality and judgment.
Not only is this child at risk from many issues associated with smoking alone, but also, statistically, those who do smoke pot have more school-related problems and social problems. Girls are at greater risk of pregnancy as a result of poor decision making and being with the wrong crowd while intoxicated.
Therefore, the risk of smoking pot extends far beyond what your daughter may consider. Knowing this now, wouldn't you want to be told if your child were smoking pot?
Gary Direnfeld is a Dundas social worker specializing in parent-child relationships.
Are you kidding me? The kid should be congratulated for being smart enough to stay away from tobacco, alcohol and caffeine. It never ceases to amaze me how rampant reefer madness truly is. I wonder if, statistically speaking, social workers are more likely to suffer from reefer madness than the rest of the population.
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