Drugs = Abortions

Those crazy, right-wing, Christian wack jobs! Their opposition to womanly ownership of uteruses, as well as drug use, has lead them down an interesting road. Teens at Northwood High School were recently treated to proselytization educational knowledge at a school assembly.

PITTSBORO - Lynn Webster was driving her son and his friends to a hockey game Friday night when she overheard them talking about a murderer visiting their high school.

That's when she learned a speaker from a Christian organization had told students she'd murdered three children by having abortions while she was a drug addict.

The organization, Teen Challenge, was paid by several area churches to speak at Chatham's middle and high schools last week about abstinence and the dangers of drugs and alcohol.

When I was in school they just told us that our girly little hearts would get broken if we had sex without wrangling a wedding ring out of him first. Thanks to Teen-Aid I learned that all the sex that I planned to have would scar me emotionally and physically for life. Also, sex makes your genitalia rot and fall off and why bother with condoms because they don't work anyway! If only I had known that using drugs would turn me into a baby-murdering abortionist.

But rest assured, the presentation had nothing to do with religion. Just because Teen Challenge is sponsored by a church group and worships fetuses does not make it religious.