Why we need a War on Pop

Did you know that drinking one pop a day will lead to a weight gain of fifteen pounds per year? Did you know that increased pop consumption leads to type 2 diabetes and obesity? Did you know that diabetes leads to impotence? Clearly we need to put an image on pop cans alluding to failed boners, just like the labels Health Canada put on cigarette packaging. Diabetes also leads to blindness, amputations and kidney damage. Pop will leach the calcium right out of your bones and lead to bone fractures.

Did you know that the Big Pop companies like Coca-Cola and Pepsi are notorious for marketing to children? They even put pop machines in schools! Do we really want our children, the future of our country, to fall victim to the depravities of sugar addiction? Won't someone PLEEEZ think of the children? Stop letting Big Soda inundate our children with advertising right in the schools. Clearly we have allowed the soda cartel to lead to death and destruction for too long. It is time we acted decisively and shut down every pop company that is marketing its' filth to our children. Let soda fountains, Coca-Cola billboards, pop machines and all objects with advertising for Big Cola be piled up in the Town Square and set alight. Nothing is too good for our children! Don't let the conspiracy to keep the public uneducated about the harms of Pop go unpunished.

Ban Pop!