I'm a better mother when I'm stoned

We can always find time to vilify mothers. If you are screwed up with a drinking habit, blame mom. You probably weren't breastfed as a baby. If you are a mom you can do no right. And as a reward for all those sleepless nights, saggy boobs and episiotomy scars, what thanks do we mothers get? Endless judgment and articles about all the ways that we mothers are WRONG.

I had the misfortune of reading yet another pile of crud heaped at mothers, with a huge dose of reefer madness thrown in for good measure. I am speaking of this monstrosity, posted on a trendy forum for trendy parents known as Babble.*

Now before I continue whining about all the ways that society dumps on the unpaid and unappreciated labor of mothers, let me back up. I actually enjoyed the article by the pot-smoking mother. I can definitely relate to having a few puffs before playing with the Legos. What is wrong with admitting that sometimes the inane games that kids want to play are somewhat tiresome and boring? There are times when I refuse to read the Berenstein bears again. Guess what? That hokey, cutesy-poo crap gets old. Of course I am going to admit proudly and loudly that moderate use of marijuana is wonderful. Since I have smoked it for years I know what I am talking about. I smiled and nodded in agreement as I read this article. I remember taking out the old one-hitter in the garage when I was at the end of my rope and coming back in the house a much calmer, happier and better parent.

I was annoyed to death by these thoughtless, ignorant people that dumped all over this poor mom for admitting to doing what 16.8% of the Canadian population does. Since I don't have the time or the inclination to quote the endless stupidity from that thread, let me summarize. The fears of the posters can be summarized like this:

1. What if your child finds out?

2. What if your child grows up and smokes marijuana and then ends up on something much stronger?

3. What kind of a parent needs a drug to cope with their life?

Ugh. The head-slapping stupidity is mind-boggling. I am guessing that none of these people has ever smoked marijuana, especially after reading the charming, judgmental comments from the poster who admits to not knowing what a one-hitter is.

So let me just answer these questions as a fellow pot-smoking parent, who is not currently in possession of any weed. $#&*^)#(^$&)*^

1. My kids know and they seem to be fine with it. They seem fine but I am sure that in this mother-hating culture they will grow up and blame me for all of their problems. I'll make sure to send them over to Babble so they can come up with more things to blame me for.

2. There is no gateway effect. It doesn't exist. It's reefer madness cooked up by the DEA and the ONDCP and Partnership for a Drug-free America. You are being lied to so the government can justify throwing people in jail for smoking the wrong plants.

3. I am not sure why parents are held up to this ridiculously high standard. When you become a parent you do not lose your humanity or your need to have a little fun once in a while. Expecting people to never smoke weed or drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or eat sugar is unreasonable and pointless. Kids do not need a supermom. A human being will do just fine.

* Babble seems like the place to go to get your self esteem knocked down a peg or two. Bad Parent: Birthdays gone wild and Straight to the Bottle were just two of the parent-bashing articles I was treated to.